On Friday I went for another counselling session.  For some reason I was nervous again before going in; I think this was because I was seeing a different person to whom I saw last year. This time it was a female, but I had no reason to be nervous as she was lovely and made me feel at ease straight away. 


We mainly discussed the miscarriage and how I had been feeling since then, as I think it’s what triggered most of the old feelings again. I was surprised that she didn’t know the statistics – that 1 in 4 women will suffer a miscarriage at some point; she sounded surprised when I told her. 


She was also surprised that the GP had only given me a month’s worth of anti-depressants as they take a few weeks to start working as it is! I had to go back to the GP for a review after I had finished this course and had the counselling anyway, but she suggested that I should need them for at least another 6 months. (Not that I want to go back to her, after what she said to me when I went the first time (that I am very lucky to have a baby already, some people struggle and would do anything for a baby – yes I know, I’ve been there! She said this to me even after I’d told her that, bearing in mind I was still grieving too!). I may have to see someone else).


Obviously I don’t want to share everything we spoke about but I feel the session helped me, talking to someone I don’t know personally. I was also given some homework which I have to take back next time. We concluded that little man & I need more structure in our day, as we do the same thing from day to day (not a lot!) which makes me just go over & over things in my head. So I have a couple of sheets to fill in and write a plan of what we are going to do, and this will help me rather than me saying that I keep meaning to, but never get around to it…


We’ve already made a little progress and have started going to the park, just to get out of the house when I’m feeling a little stressed! 


(And I’m still planning his birthday party!).