I didn’t originally plan on sharing this here, but after posting something similar on Facebook and receiving so many kind, understanding replies, I realised there might be others who need to hear they’re not alone. So I’m sharing it here too – a little glimpse into what life looks like right now while living with chronic fatigue and the mental health struggles that come with it.
Struggling With Chronic Fatigue
Lately, I’ve been really, really struggling – both physically and mentally. The fatigue is relentless. Some days, it feels like my body has turned against me, and I know many reading this will completely understand that feeling.
After months of trying to rule out other potential medical issues, my GP finally referred me to the fatigue clinic back in July. It feels like a small step forward, but the waiting list means it could be January before I even get an appointment for an assessment. I’m clinging to the hope that I’ll receive a diagnosis and some strategies that might help me cope better.
Associated Mental Health Issues
Most days, I just want to cry because I feel so utterly drained. I hardly go anywhere anymore unless hubby is with me – partly because I can’t manage driving far, and partly because I need the extra help. Even doing the essential food shop on a Monday wipes me out for the rest of the day, and that’s with a supermarket click & collect and a quick trip to Aldi for the bits I prefer from there.
Cooking feels like climbing a mountain some days. We end up eating quick, convenience meals far more often than I’d like, which I know doesn’t help how I feel physically. It’s such a vicious cycle – I’m too exhausted to cook properly or clean, then I get overwhelmed by the mess, and then I feel guilty for not being able to keep on top of things. Even resting brings guilt; if I nap during the day, I beat myself up for not doing enough.
At the moment, my phone and laptop are my lifelines. They keep me connected to the world outside the four walls of my house, but even then, guilt creeps in – guilt for scrolling too long, guilt for not being physically productive, guilt for not being “better.” I am thankful that I can manage my workload at home, so even if I’m not mentally resting, I am physically.
Pacing myself
I’m trying to pace myself and learn what works for me, but it’s a steep learning curve. Some days I manage. Other days, everything feels impossible. I dread school holidays now for completely different reasons – they’re more chilled now the boys are a tween and a teen; but still absolutely exhausting with more than just myself to take care of every day – and it can take weeks to recover afterwards.
If you’ve been through something similar, you’ll know how isolating it can be. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m not lazy, and I’m not failing. My body is just shouting for rest, and I have to start listening to it.
A Final Thought
I know this post might sound heavy, but it’s the reality for a lot of people living with chronic fatigue or conditions like ME/CFS. It’s messy, frustrating, and full of guilt, but it’s also a reminder that slowing down isn’t the same as giving up.
If you’re in a similar place, please know you’re not alone. And if you’re not, but you know someone who’s struggling, a bit of understanding and patience goes a long way. Maybe even offer to run a little errand for them? It will mean more than you will ever know.
