emotional

The ‘Berry’ Pregnancy Diaries – week 36

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Wednesday 29th January – 36w
We finally bought baby their first outfit today – well, not so much an outfit but babygro etc. Exciting! Also managed to get another bump photo – it still looks small but it feels gigantic to me! Though I think baby is a bit low today.

Thursday 30th January – 36w 1d
I woke up with really bad heartburn (the worst yet) in the middle of the night so I didn’t get much sleep last night. Though when I did sleep I think I slept funny as I’ve been so achy today.


Friday 31st January – 36w 2d
I had my 36 week MOT with the midwife today. Baby is measuring right on ‘target’ (though looking at the centile chart they have stuck in this time based on what little man weighed, this one is aiming for around 9lb 9oz! Little man weighed 7lb 8.5oz!), the heartbeat was all good, and they are very low down and 1/5 engaged! Regarding me, my BP was fine, though my sample showed I may have a UTI  but she said they will ring me if so when the results come back. She also had to do a blood test to check my iron levels but couldn’t get any, she left me with a nice bruise though. I ended up going up to pathology at the hospital in the end. My home birth also looks all set to go and they will ring me next week to let me know when my gas & air, etc. will be delivered!


Saturday 1st February – 36w 3d
We’re having a baby THIS month! (Hopefully!)


Monday 3rd February – 36w 5d
I’ve been an emotional mess today. I’ve been in tears numerous times this morning, little man is just being an absolute nightmare, or maybe I’m just too sensitive at the minute! I also had a conversation with a checkout lady whilst shopping today (I must have looked uncomfortable or something): Her: “Are you ok?”; me: showed her my bump; her: “Oh I see, how long left?”; me: “3 weeks”; her: “Maybe!”. Yeah, thanks for that! 


Tuesday 4th February – 36w 6d
Oh man. I’m right at that stage now where I am both physically and emotionally exhausted. I have been in SUCH a bad & upset mood today. I must have literally spent half the day crying. Little man was up at 6.20am so we went in the living room and I did the bad Mummy thing and put the TV on for him while I kept dropping off having a snooze. He has then been a nightmare all morning. Smacking me, kicking me, pulling my hair, throwing toys at me, throwing his (empty) Lego box across the room because I dared to turn Peppa flaming Pig off! I admit I just wanted to run away today as I have been in such a state all day. And then I get told “not long now then the fun really starts!”. [Another] yeah, thanks for that! I know it sounds awful but I’m glad he’s at nursery tomorrow so I get a little rest! 

At 36 weeks, berry is the size of a coconut.
They are still gaining weight and becoming rounder in appearance.
The bones in the skull can move and overlap each other allowing them to pass through the birth canal more easily.
They will probably (though not necessarily) be in a head down position.

One Year

- Stacey Leave a comment

One year.


One year ago today.


That day that I became another statistic.


The worst day of our year. 


One of the worst of our lives. 


It changed me.


I suffered.


I still suffer. 


Especially today.


Emotional.


Tears.


Sadness.


But we gained another gift.


A gift from our angel.


We have never forgotten.


But we remember you even more so today.


On the date that we lost you.


Lost you forever.


Physically. 


But not emotionally or your memory.


One year.

The ‘Berry’ Pregnancy Diaries – week 20

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Wednesday 9th October – 20w
“Oh oh, we’re halfway there”! We made it! 


Thursday 10th October – 20w 1d
Looking in the mirror today, I think I look huge already! For me anyway, I wasn’t as big at this stage with little man. 



I also finally started taking Spatone today after lots of recommendations from people. I will let you know how I get on. And I discovered berry likes mint Matchmakers! 

Saturday 12th October – 20w 3d
Hubby and my brother have been drinking Amaretto. Now I have cravings for marzipan.


Tuesday 15th October – 20w 6d
I think my spice taste buds have depleted since I’ve been pregnant as a few nights ago I tried vindaloo curry, and it barely touched me, then turn it was a Faal (hotter than a vindaloo). In all honestly it just tasted as a madras would normally…


I’ve also been a little emotional today , being Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. I lit a candle for the wave of light to remember our little bean, and I did have a few tears thinking of them and all the other babies who were too beautiful for Earth. But at the same time so happy that our bean sent us another precious gift. 

At 20 weeks, berry is the size of a banana.
The skin is thickening and starting to form the epidermis, and the dermis.
They are now covered in vernix.
Movements are much more frequent.
They are also swallowing more, getting in good practice for their digestive system.
They are starting to produce meconium, ready for the first nappy!

The ‘Berry’ Pregnancy Diaries – week 18

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Wednesday 25th September – 18w
Had such a rubbish emotional day today, being in tears on & off for most of it. I will explain more in my holiday diary but I’m so tired now and just can’t wait to go home tomorrow. I often think people should just remember not to mess with an emotional pregnant lady zilla! 


Thursday 26th September – 18w 1d
I’ve been in another one of ‘those’ moods today and really felt like letting off some steam, wish I had a punch bag! (Refer to pregzilla sentence above).

Saturday 28th September – 18w 3d
Feeling quite tired today as little man has been up numerous times the last couple of nights being sick, so he’s then been in our bed making me uncomfortable meaning I don’t sleep well. I love co-sleeping but zzzzzzzz! 


Sunday 29th September – 18w 4d
I have achy feet tonight as I’ve been on them most of the afternoon baking a cake for hubby’s birthday tomorrow! (Which didn’t turn out very well by the way). If I ache this much now, goodness knows what I’ll be like in another few weeks/months! I’ve also had cramps and bad tummy ache all day, and some of yesterday. I’ve been worrying but I think it’s probably just growing pains as berry is moving quite a bit. 


Monday 30th September – 18w 5d
I’ve had really awful back ache and kept seizing up today whenever I bend over/move suddenly etc. I had this with little man but not until much later, probably the 3rd trimester, and it was bad enough then let alone with an active toddler to look after. I’ll get through it though! Although I have felt like calling in sick, but to whom?!


Tuesday 1st October – 18w 6d
Today has been a day where I’m so glad I’m pregnant (well, obviously I’m glad every day, but you know what I mean…) as I took little man to baby clinic to get weighed and it was packed full of teeny newborn babies. My broody alarm was SO loud…

At 18 weeks berry is the size of a bell pepper.
Their ears are approaching their final position and and the eyes are beginning to face forward.
Meconium starts to collect in berry’s intestines.
The heart is starting to build up muscle and pumping 25-30 quarts of blood a day.
The blood vessels are still visible through the skin.
If berry is a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place, and will have eggs in her ovaries.
If berry is a boy, his genitals are now noticeable but may be hiding on an ultrasound scan!

The 'Berry' Pregnancy Diaries – week 13

- Stacey Leave a comment
Wednesday 21st August – 13w
Hello second trimester! I never thought I’d get this far after my last pregnancy, so I’m feeling a bit of relief now, and can start to relax a bit more. 

Started baking for my fundraiser today and it has tired me out so much! Reminds me why I didn’t do a lot when pregnant with little man either…

Thursday 22nd August – 13w 1d
Had a rather emotional day today as it was my Grandad’s funeral. So I am emotionally tired tonight. 

I also had an interesting dream last night about berry’s gender! I wonder if it will come true? It did with little man. Obviously I’m not going to give you all the details though as it would spoil the surprise if it is true… I’m getting roughly the same amount of boy/girl predictions at the minute though. 

Friday 23rd August – 13w 2d
Absolutely shattered today after lots of preparation for my fundraiser tomorrow. Couple that with chasing after a nosy hyperactive toddler too and I’m about ready to drop. I’ve had awful shooting pains in my stomach too which reminded me I needed to have a rest to take care of berry (and myself of course). 

Saturday 24th August – 13w 3d
More tired than I have been in a while, tonight! My fundraiser went well though, so it’s all for a good cause! (Obviously berry is a good cause too, you know what I mean though!) 
Monday 26th August – 13w 5d
I was in bed before little man last night, I went at 9pm and apparently he fell asleep at 10. All in all I had 11 hours sleep, and I can tell you that I needed it! It’s been all go again today though preparing for MiL’s funeral tomorrow. 

Tuesday 27th August – 13w 6d
What another emotionally challenging day after MiL’s funeral. It was a lovely send off though, and also before it, I felt the first flutters from berry. Reminded me just how amazing the little life growing inside of me is. And yes, you guessed it, I am very tired yet again…

Berry is the size of a tangerine.
The vital systems are all fully developed.
The body is starting to catch up with the oversized head!
Fingerprints have formed.
The intestines, liver and pancreas are starting to work.
All 20 teeth have now formed and are hiding under the gums.
Berry can smile!