A new journey.


One which every new mum hopes they won’t have to face.


It eats you from the inside.


It takes over your brain.


It makes you think things you shouldn’t be thinking.


It wears you down.


Post natal depression.


I first knew I was suffering when my health visitor did the PND questionnaire at my 8 week visit. I got a score indicating mild PND.


I then did it again with the doctor at my post natal check up at 12 weeks. I got a score indicating moderate PND.


Over the last few days I have felt awful, horrid, I really dislike myself right now. I haven’t cried this much since we were trying to conceive. It’s just gotten like this out of nowhere, I don’t know what triggered it. I’m still suffering some of that breastfeeding guilt too. 


I hate feeling like this.


I will fight it. 


However long it takes, I will lock those depression gremlins away never to be seen again.


I hope.