Things not to say or do to an overdue pregnant woman

Now, I was pointed to a few words last week by a friend when I wasn’t quite overdue, but nearly. I was hoping it wouldn’t be the case that I would be, but hey, it happened! I’ve stolen and slightly modified bits from it which I think everyone should be aware of, or you may be on the end of a pregzilla at some point. All meant in a bit of jest of course. (Well, most of it…)

  • You may not ask a pregnant woman more than the two allocated times, when her due date is. If you cannot recall the date beyond this, you are not permitted to badger the woman with the same question.
  • You may not comment on the size of a pregnant woman. This is gestational discrimination and whether you think she is small or exceptionally large is irrelevant. 
  • You may not touch the bump unless you have been invited to do so.
  • You may not discuss labouring experiences of yourself, your wife, or the ‘friend of a friend’ who experienced 25th degree tears unless specifically required or asked to do so.

    (A couple of my own)

  • Do not ask “Are you still here/pregnant?”. Well, yes, obviously, I would be the first to shout from the rooftops if I had finally given birth!
  • Do not say anything along the lines of “Come on, get that baby out!”. Do you not think I am bloody trying?!
  • “He/she/they will come when they are ready” – well I know that, but hearing it repeatedly several times a day does not help me when I don’t know when that’s going to be!

    (And my favourite of all)

  • When a pregnant woman announces she is overdue, you are not wise to offer any advice on methods of natural induction, specifically using the words, curry, pineapple or walking. If you believe for two seconds that a tired, exhausted and overdue pregnant woman has not already exhausted every possible way of vacating her womb, then you are sorely mistaken or very stupid and your suggestions will most likely merit a dirty look at least, if not a punch in the smacker! 

Now I know I’m not the first woman in the whole universe to go overdue, but it’s getting incredibly frustrating now. And in all honesty and seriousness now, I haven’t been coping well the last few days. Every day I just cry. When watching One Born Every Minute the other night, I promptly burst into tears when one of the babies was born, because I just want mine now. I’m achy, tired, emotional, keep getting cramps & pains which amount to nothing, and well, it’s just getting hard to deal with now. Of course I am so very grateful to be in this position, I really am, and I’ve been on the other side of the fence so don’t feel I have a ‘right’ to complain as I would have complained at other people doing it before, but it’s just so hard now. I’m truly sorry to anyone it upsets to read this. 

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