The name game

I originally set this blog up back in October, really to help with the stresses and feelings of infertility and trying to conceive. I never really got around to writing in it until today. The birth of my friends new baby girl has prompted me. I’m sure at some point I will write about our full history with ttc, but for now it’s going to be short and sweet. I’m kind of hoping that this will help relieve some of my tense feelings, rather than screaming and crying the house down every day, as that is what I usually feel like doing. 

I found out back in May that my friend was expecting. This was a couple of months after she had come to me for advice on ttc. I immediately knew it was my ‘fault’ she was pregnant, and I felt so deflated, even though I was expecting it eventually after seeing some of her statuses on facebook. It was like, she had been trying ‘only’ 5 months before she fell, and there was us, 17 months on and still nothing! Why couldn’t it have been me?

Well today was the arrival. I am happy for them, don’t get me wrong, she is so beautiful. It’s just, well, they have named her the name we have for a middle name, if we ever have a baby girl. It just made me feel so sad. Like if we use it now she will think we’ve ‘copied’ them. Stupid, I know, but ttc drives you to these types of feelings! 

I suppose I should push my feelings of jealousy aside for a few moments, and go and wish her congratulations. 

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