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I know this is a subject that everybody has mixed opinions on – but with my still grieving from my miscarriage, and what we went through to get little man, I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. Does it matter what the gender of your baby is? 

Since I can remember, I’ve seen people on their subsequent pregnancies, discussing what they would like the gender of this baby to be. When I discovered I was pregnant with little man, I had no urge for a particular gender, I was just absolutely ecstatic that we finally had our dream come true. From around 6 weeks pregnant, I just had a feeling, a mummy instinct, that we were having a boy. This wasn’t off the back of any particular preference, it was just ‘there’. We had always decided that we were going to find out the gender; again, not because of any particular preference, just that I’m an impatient organisation freak and I wanted to be prepared! 

Now here, I am not questioning the choice of finding out vs. not finding out. It’s the question of preference. For example, we had a boy the first time around – when I was pregnant with our little angel, I had a feeling again – that it was another boy. This time though, we were going to have a surprise. I have to admit, I was happy with the feeling, BUT I didn’t feel sad either that I didn’t feel that it was a girl. I would have genuinely been happy with either gender. When our little angel was born, if we would have been blessed with two boys, or a boy and girl – it didn’t bother me in the slightest, as long as they were healthy. Even with health problems, of course I would still love them though. 

I am guessing the gender preference is different for a first pregnancy, in that some people have always dreamt of how they want their family to be. But then again saying that, I suppose it could be the same way for following pregnancies – if you have always wanted one of each sex, then you might wish for the opposite sex this time, and genuinely be upset if it isn’t. 

I suppose I am writing this because with me never having any gender preference, I am genuinely interested in why people do, whether it be in their first pregnancy or following pregnancies. 

So, did you have a preference for gender in any of your pregnancies? 

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I’m Stacey, in my mid-late 30’s, from a tiny village (officially a hamlet) in Lincolnshire.

I’m a mum to two handsome boys. They’re both diagnosed autistic but that only makes them different, not less. Barney, a Frenchie x Beagle, is my furbaby. Owner of a husband too!

Blogging about lifestyle and books with a bit of everything else thrown in!

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  1. I had the feeling I was having a boy. Never found out as it made the pregnancy more achievable knowing we'd get a surprise. I prefer boys clothes but he wears lots of unisex stuff anyway. Sounds daft but a wardrobe of pink never crossed my mind

  2. I knew from day 1 that I would have a girl and was pleased, not because I would have been sad if it had been a boy but instead because I have a step son who has a few issues and felt a boy would have harmed him in terms of his relationship with his dad and I and would have increased the jealousy of the baby.

    we decided to find out for same reason as you primarily but also because if it was a boy we needed time to prepare my step son

  3. With my first pregnancy I always thought I would 'like' a little girl. I justified this because I lost my mum to cancer and wanted to recreate that mother/daughter relationship. I was lucky enough to have a healthy daughter.
    I then went on to fall pregnant again. It wasn't exactly planned but I was happy anyway. I decided to find out at the scan what the sex was after saying for weeks that I wanted another girl. I was told that my baby was a boy, and I'm ashamed to admit that I actually said "I dont want a boy" I was upset and angry, and these feelings were then followed by guilt when I discovered that my baby boy had health issues and would likely need surgery when he was born. 🙁 I spent the following 18 weeks praying for my little boy to grow strong, and apologising to him (and anyone who was listening) for saying what I had previously said.
    He arrived at 38 weeks, with severe kidney issues and later went on to develop autism. But do you know, I wouldn't change him for the world! He is my baby boy (even now, at 14) and I adore him.
    I have been lucky enough to be blessed with six more beautiful children, and each time I can honestly say I have not cared a jot what the sex is, and have not bothered to find out either, as long as they are healthy and happy this is really all that matters.

  4. For me either sex would have been loved just as much as we have tried for 18 months and I had a very difficult pregnancy so to just have our baby was enough for us. With having 2 girls I was glad Amélie wasa little lady as I was a little worried I wouldn't know what to do with a boy, but that is just my own insecurities x

  5. It didnt matter to me at all as long as bubba was healthy. However my 1st pregnancy like u I had a feeling I was having a boy.
    2nd time I had no feeling at all.
    But but pregnancies I had to find out as I had to prepare the best way I could. I needed to be in as much control as I could.


  6. I don't think any long term ttc'er has preference over sex….we are just so thankful to finally get the news we've been waiting months or years to see. Certainly when we fell pregnant with the twins the comments of "ohh wouldn't it be nice to have one of each" got a bit boring but you deal with it….twin boys and love them to bits.
    After two miscarriages and two successful pregnancies I'm grateful for what I have…again the 'second pregnancy' guestimated people to wish us to have a little girl buy I wasn't disappointed in the least with my littlest man…
    Truthfully I'm not sure I can carry girls…. Maybe NY two miscarriages were pinks and that's why they weren't to be… Who knows!
    Our little bundles pink or blue are cherished and the next person to ask me "oh will you be trying again for a girl?" May actually get punched 😉 lol

  7. Maybe that's it. I've noticed recently it's usually the people who haven't been trying for long who have a preference…

  8. Yes it's control with me too! So I say we would have a surprise next time, but who knows…

  9. Bless, I get what you mean though, I think I'd be worried about a girl next time as I'm used to boys now!

  10. That's interesting why you had a preference, I can understand that. Thanks for sharing x

  11. Thank you for sharing. I guess other people have that same issue too x

  12. Little man has loads of pink stuff hehe 😉

  13. Tbh while I'd have been more than happy if sky was a boy I was so happy to be having a girl especially knowing either way she's our last. I think it's less a feeling of not wanting the baby you have because of its gender but more like..grieving the baby you will never have if that makes any sense lol

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