A letter to my husband

To my dear husband,


I meant to write this yesterday, but well, you know, I had a bit of an emotional day so I never got around to it.


So yesterday we celebrated being married for 5 years. We didn’t really do a lot as since little man arrived, we don’t get chance! But I don’t care, I love spending time with the two of you. I really enjoyed the meal that we went out for, just the two of us. And even though we don’t get along sometimes, your dad is a good egg really (don’t tell him I said that), as he watched little man while we were out, and he does anytime we need him to. 


Who would have thought that 8.5 years ago when we met, that after a couple of months we would be engaged, and 3.5 years later we would be married. But, we’ve made it this far, with many more fun filled years to come. 


Obviously these last few years have had their ups & downs. After we were married, we decided we would start trying for a family in the new year. Little did we know just how hard, tiring, and emotionally challenging that journey would be. After numerous appointments, tests, and tears later, we finally got our long awaited positive test 2.5 years after we started trying to conceive. Then in the following March our precious gorgeous little man made his appearance! 


Six months after that, we unexpectedly fell pregnant again! It was a shock to both of us, but once it had sunk in, we were both incredibly excited, although nervous! But as we know, unfortunately it wasn’t to be, and our little bean went to heaven. So these past few months have also been emotionally challenging whilst you helped me grieve. Although our bean was unexpected, we decided it was something we really wanted so decided to start actually trying. The months went on, and you still put up with me emotionally, until we got our BFP just last month.


Obviously I am in still in the nervous stage right now, but you understand, and still put up with me! After all, that is what a relationship & marriage is all about.


I am so so lucky to be your wife, and I cannot wait to start our life as a family of four next year. Here’s to the next 5 years, and reaching a decade of marriage! 


Thank you for loving me.


I love you.


Stacey xx

Forever

I woke at 2am that morning,

Sat bolt upright in bed,
I had to rush, jump out,
I knew you were going, going forever.

The next 4 hours were spent sat,
Sobbing, crying, wishing, hoping,
That you were ok, while losing you,
But I knew you were going, going forever.
We were going to check on you that afternoon,
The rest of the day passed in slow motion,
As I knew you were going, going forever.
We didn’t see you;
“I’m sorry, I’m not seeing anything”, she said,
In that moment we knew for sure you were gone,
Gone forever.
Gone forever but always in our hearts, little angel bean x

 

A letter to Santa

Dear Santa,


I know you are probably all prepared by now, with gifts all wrapped and ready for your journey around the world tomorrow, but I hope you get a chance to read this. There is nothing else I need you to physically make, but there are a few people I want you to give an extra special gift to.


I would be asking for something special for myself, but we already got our wish, for an early anniversary present a few months ago. This elusive gift, I bet you’re wondering what it is? Well, it’s a BFP. I want you to bring lots of my lovely LTTTC friends something they have been wishing for, some for as long as we were, if not longer – the precious, priceless, gift of a baby to love & treasure. Whether you make this happen naturally, or through the treatment they are currently going through, or are going to go through at some point in the future. 


Also, for those friends of mine who can’t physically have a baby, or do not want to go through the heartbreak any further, and who are going through fostering or adoption procedures. Please make this successful and give them the precious gift of a child who they would give anything to take care of, and giving them a loving, forever, home. 


As long as you can do this, I don’t want anything else. Just for my friends to be happy.


Thank you Santa,


From,


Stacey. 

Letter to my “belly bean”

Dear Belly Bean,

Your nickname was the affectionate name given to you by your virtual Auntie Kylie! I wanted to name you our little cupcake (I am obsessed with all things cupcake!), but she thought that was too cheesy! Daddy had ‘frog’ as a nickname for you, not because you look like a frog, but because I asked him what shall we give you as a nickname and the first thing that came out was ‘frog’! It stuck for a few weeks but I didn’t really like it! So now you are belly bean. 

I Iove you so much already, from the bottom of my heart, but I’m sure you know that already as you’re so close to it. You’ve made me cry throughout so far, from the moment I knew I was growing you inside of me, tears of pure joy, happiness & disbelief, I still don’t believe you’re in there now and ours, even though I’ve already seen you twice and you are making my belly grow by the day!

I cried a lot at 14 weeks when I was bleeding and cramping and I thought I was losing you, after everything we had been through. We had to go to the hospital to check you were still okay, we couldn’t hear your heartbeat but we saw you and your heartbeat on the screen and we were so relieved! Daddy gave you a stern talking to when we got home for worrying us both sick! I couldn’t feel you move yet so I wasn’t sure you were okay.

I cried again yesterday when I had a tiny bit of bleeding, I was worried of course but not as much as last time after everything turned out to be okay. I felt you move afterwards so I knew you were okay and comfy and cosy in there. 

Yesterday I turned 20 weeks pregnant, the half way mark of carrying you! By now we should be having our scan to check you are doing okay, and to find out if you’re a boy or a girl. I think you’re a boy, Daddy thinks you’re a girl! If you are a girl, we already have a name chosen for you; if you are a boy, we have a first name chosen for you, but not a middle one, but that doesn’t matter if we can’t decide on one! Unfortunately we have to wait until next week to see you again, a week today, but it will be all the more special when we do.

Now we have the next half of my pregnancy to look forward to, and need to buy things for your arrival! We already have a few bottles for you, a Moses basket, which was mine when I was a baby, a few clothes, we have some nappies which you are going to look adorable in! Your grandparents have a pram each for when you go and visit and stay, but we are getting your main one after Christmas! Talking of Christmas, your arrival will be that much closer after then, and next Christmas of 2012 will be the best Christmas ever. 

Mummy & Daddy can’t wait to meet you in person, our precious little baby.

Love,

Mummy (& Daddy)

xx