Yesterday was 23 weeks! Nearly at ‘V Day’, next week…
Not much to report I’m afraid after only posting 22 week update on Thursday! I was in quite an emotional teary state over the weekend though, I think partly this is because the miserable cold weather and early dark nights are getting me down, like they do other people; I don’t usually suffer too much but obviously more emotional and hormonal this year so it’s affecting me a bit more! Also, I’ve been having those ‘I’m going to be a rubbish Mummy and do everything wrong’ thoughts! I suppose it’s been slowly building up for a while, but the tears just erupted on Friday night! Husband didn’t help much either, he told me I was being silly, which of course made me more upset because I thought I was being stupid, so cried even more! After some reassurance from a friend though, I now fully realise this is totally natural, and may even roll on into toddler-hood! (And possibly teenage and adult life?!) Husband apologised anyway and reassured me I am going to be a brilliant Mummy, which made me happier to hear it coming from him. He’s going to be a brilliant Daddy too 🙂
Leaving you with a couple of bump pics from 23 weeks…
I know, a few months ago I would have been the one moaning about people moaning that they were fed up with their pregnancies. This is why I am so fed up of feeling like this, because I know I am so lucky and many of you would kill to be in my position and possibly be feeling fed up!
The thing is, I don’t know why I’m fed up, I’m guessing it’s just hormones, as there is absolutely no other reason. Most of you know how long we fought for this moment, and I love our baby so much already, so it is nothing to do with that.
I’ve been bursting into tears for absolutely no reason (I did this nearer the beginning but I knew what the reasons were at that time!), and just really feeling sorry for myself! I think part of it may be the fact that I don’t “feel pregnant” at the minute because I don’t “look” pregnant, I think I look more fat than anything, and I just want that moment where I can see how much our baby is growing inside of me. I look in the mirror every day and just can’t see any change at all. I have had to start wearing maternity jeans, as my usual jeans were getting tight and uncomfortable, so I know my body is changing, and I’ve only gained 4/5 lbs so I know it’s not mainly because of that.
I’m sure my husband must be getting fed up of me feeling miserable by now, but I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this and cheer up! I hate feeling like this as I know I should be enjoying my pregnancy, and I am for the most part, but just can’t help feeling like this at the moment and I feel so so guilty.