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I recently happened to come across a statement on social media where basically, someone had said that breastfeeding gives you more of a bond with your baby than formula feeding does. This is something which has irritated me before so I thought that now was about the right time to blog about it. I shouldn’t need to state, but this is not at all a dig at breastfeeding as I actually managed a few weeks myself, it’s purely the statement and the derivation of it.

With little man J, we didn’t take to breastfeeding, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t bond whilst feeding. I still remember it like yesterday, the way he used to stare into my eyes, and he used to hold hands whilst he was having his milk. Exactly the same as breastfeeding, yes? The only difference is, that he wasn’t physically ‘connected’ to me whilst feeding, with not being on my boob. (And Daddy gets to bond too).

I do understand that there is a special connection whilst breastfeeding as I had it with N. It does make you feel amazed, that you are feeding this little person with great Mummy milk, but apart from that, I didn’t feel much different than I did with J. In fact, it took me a little longer to bond with N as a lot of the time I used to dread feeding because of the struggles we had. I know this isn’t relevant to everyone though.

The bonding with N whilst feeding was different, but I wouldn’t say any more of a bond than with feeding J. N mostly used to grab my boob whilst feeding, sometimes we would hold hands, I don’t think he ever really stared into my eyes as he was mostly concentrating on boob.

From my experience, I believe that however you feed your baby, you will bond. (I also understand in certain circumstances that you may not). Whether that be by breast, expressed breast milk, donor milk, or formula. Because purely, you are feeding your baby and making them happy & healthy.

The bond surely comes from within, not the source.

J bonding with Daddy, I couldn’t find a photo with me.
N bonding with Mummy.

Family Friday

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I’m Stacey, in my mid-late 30’s, from a tiny village (officially a hamlet) in Lincolnshire.

I’m a mum to two handsome boys. They’re both diagnosed autistic but that only makes them different, not less. Barney, a Frenchie x Beagle, is my furbaby. Owner of a husband too!

Blogging about lifestyle and books with a bit of everything else thrown in!

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  1. I'm so glad you wrote this post. I didn't manage to breast feed either of my children and I found/find it infuriating when some people talk about the bond that breast feeding creates. I'm sure it does, but it's the implication that by not breast feeding you are not bonding as much with your baby that I find offensive. I tried to breast feed but it didn't work and so we were all much happier when I started bottle feeding.

    1. Exactly. You can still bond even when formula feeding, happiness creates a bond.

  2. You're definitely going against the masses here Stacey, but I can't say I disagree! Great post. Thanks for linking up #FamilyFriday

  3. You're definitely going against the grain here Stacey. Great post though, and I can't say I disagree. Thanks for linking up again #FamilyFriday

  4. In the first few weeks I dreaded breastfeeding- it hurt so much. However you do it, you will bond with your child.

  5. Lots of things help you bond with your child. It's been close, being together, etc. You can do that breastfeeding or not I think. Breastfeeding tends to be more mum and baby I guess, whereas bottles can be either parent.

  6. Breastfeeding isnt an easy thing to do, and those that say it is are lying. With my first child i breast fed for 6 weeks and i used to dread her getting hungry, my toes would curl in pain and i never had support. there is too much pressure to breastfeed and it has nothing to do with bonding.

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