Lately I’m finding controlling my broodiness really hard. What with One Born Every Minute, seeing cute younger babies photos on facebook, and having just finally caught up on 16 Kids & Counting, it’s going up a notch every few days! I think the fact that I should have been halfway there with my pregnancy too (I would have been 20 weeks today), I’m finding the feeling of being broody really hard. I just want it to go away but I can’t. We should have been seeing our precious little bean again any time now, and it’s really upsetting. I thought …
depression
I did it.
I did it. I finally went to the doctors again. After my counselling I had in the summer last year, things were better for a while. I was better for a while. Well, I felt it anyway. But then things started getting bad again. And then I discovered I was pregnant. After the initial shock, I had mainly good days, but a few I felt down. And then I miscarried. I was sent totally off the track again. As anyone would. But after the initial upset, everything that had bothered me before, started coming back to bother me again. Total …
Counselling – take 2
First of all, I’m so sorry I haven’t been updating regularly the last couple of weeks, it has been hectic with moving, trying to make a dent in the boxes, and decorating the little man’s room to get him in there! Well it looks a bit more lived in now rather than just a junk shop. Anyway, I had another counselling session last month. I had to do the depression questionnaire again and my results were a little better than they were at the previous one, so the tasks he gave me must have helped a little. He asked me …
Dread
I dread that I’m never going to be able to enjoy my baby fully. I feel like that has been taken away, and feel like there is no end in sight right now. I dread waking up some days because I find it hard to cope when he’s having a mega grumpy day, because he won’t sleep. Though being a Mummy, coping should come naturally, but it doesn’t seem to happen with me. I dread that I’m never going to get over my guilty feelings and they’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. I dread that I’m never …
Counselling – take 1
The week before last I went for my counselling session which my doctor recommended me to do. I was extremely nervous as I thought the counsellor (Jamie) would think I was being silly and to tell me to stop being stupid. Obviously that wouldn’t have been the case, but you know… As it was, as soon as I went in I felt really at ease as he was such a nice guy. Though I felt at ease with him, I still really didn’t want to talk about what was going on and my feelings, as I felt silly. Once again …