The face of anxiety

The face of anxiety

It’s been a while. A while since I’ve discussed mental health over here. Anything over here, in fact. Because just recently, I haven’t been great. I’ve been in a rough place, and barely opened my laptop. It’s really important to talk about this stuff though and not suffer in silence. If I can encourage even one person reading this to talk; to talk to anyone, then my purpose has been served. Here’s me, serving up a plate of anxiety with a side order of depression. Read more

The emotions of starting school

Today is the last day of Jacob’s first full week since starting school. Last week on his first week, he started later and finished early so he only did a few hours a day. He was tired then so I knew this week was really going to affect him with regards to mood and tiredness. Needless to say, he has been sleeping for almost 12 hours a night, when previously he was lucky to get nine!

He was excited yet a little bit dubious going into his class on his first day, but since then he has been absolutely fine and ran in every morning, almost without even saying goodbye! He’s been coming home at the end of the day telling us about what he’s been doing, who he’s been playing with, what he’s had for his lunch. I thought he had settled in really well. Read more

It’s okay to not feel okay | Depression

It's okay to not feel okay

I know some people like to keep to themselves, but I’m very open about my mental health issues and it helps me to talk about it sometimes, even though I haven’t blogged about it for a while. I just want people to know, it’s okay to not feel okay.

Recently, I’ve been feeling okay up until the last couple of weeks, when it got to the point that I couldn’t even face going out and I was inside for 3 days straight. I hate feeling like I’m going to burst into tears, or I actually do, all day every single day. Like I feel right now.

The feelings of nothing, emptiness, no worth, just nothing. Feeling like I just want to run away, somewhere I can just sleep the days away until I feel better, where I don’t have to cook, or clean, where I don’t have anyone else to take care of, in general, where I survive by sleeping. As right now I don’t feel like I’m doing a very good job of surviving.

I love my boys with everything I have, and I know siblings fight, and I know children whine, and I know they can’t understand how I feel, but on these days, everything just feels so much worse, and right now I just feeling like running out of that door and running away so I don’t have to listen to them as it makes my head spin and exacerbates all of those feelings inside. But of course I wouldn’t. It is just hard, so so hard.

I just like to know I am not alone, and I like you to know that you are not alone, and though it doesn’t feel like it to you, it is okay to feel like this. It’s not you, it’s purely a chemical imbalance.

We can fight it, day after day, after day. One day, something might click, and we might not feel like this ever again. Or, we might fight this until the day we die.

But…

It’s okay.

I will be okay.

You will be okay.

We have to be okay.

We are survivors.

Right until the end.

#TimeToTalk Day 2016

Today is #TimeToTalk Day. Time to talk about mental health with no stigma attached.

I think it is so sad that as a population we feel that we can’t talk openly about mental health. Chances are, if you have never suffered mental health issues yourself, then you know someone who has. Openly or not.

I’m one of those that feels comfortable talking openly about it. I suffer with anxiety and depression. Plain & simple.

But it’s not always so plain and simple.

If you know somebody is suffering, please make the time to talk. Even a simple “How are you?”. Even if they are not fine, it feels good that someone cares when at that time they may think nobody does.

That person at the bus stop. Say hello. They may be feeling like the loneliest person in the world, but you could make them smile. They may be feeling really anxious that day and may just give a smile, but please know that you have just made their day.

Don’t avoid them. Mental health is not a disease. You can’t catch it if you get too close.

Please.

Make time. Time to talk.

#TimeToTalk Day – #Take5ToBlog

Today, February 5th, is #TimeToTalk Day. Time to #Take5 to talk about mental illness, to take that step to help end the stigma and taboo.

Regular blog readers will know that I have suffered from mental health issues myself so talking about it and raising awareness is something I am very passionate about. I’m going to share my 5 sentence mental health story; you can do the same using the following format, either over on the Time to Change Facebook page or in the blog comment box:

My name is Stacey and I have experienced depression, post natal depression, and anxiety. My mental illnesses have affected my life because I have lost a sense of being, a sense of belonging, a sense of acceptance; my anxiety has given me a loss of social life, and my depression has driven me to suicidal thoughts. My greatest source of support other than my husband who has been at my side when I needed him the most, has been my online community of friends; though social media can be awful at times (some of which has led to low points with my mental illnesses) it can also be really amazing knowing that even though someone isn’t physically there, they are still there no matter what. My hope for the future, for me, is that I will beat these horrible illnesses; for mental health in general, is that the stigma will one day be eradicated. I’m taking 5 on Time to Talk day because I am not ashamed; I am passionate.