{Guest post} Laura – Weight Loss and the Pain of Trying to Conceive

Today’s guest post is from Laura, a Mummy of two who blogs over at Laura’s Lovely Blog. She talks about a journey I am very familiar with, losing weight in order to conceive.
It’s funny, I spent most of my 20s trying not to get pregnant.
Having a mini panic attack if there was a slip up. Because in my mind there was
no way I was ready.
Of course after all the contraception fastidiousness it seemed to
me that as soon as we started trying to fall pregnant, that it would be easy,
that it would just happen. That the little spermy blighters were just desperate
to *ahem* get in there a give me a baby.
How foolish I was. Particularly as I already knew I had PCOS
(polycystic ovary syndrome).
After a year or so of trying we knew we needed some help and went
to the doctors. Then ensued a period of time of tests, internal scans, my
husband driving through rush hours with pots of things to be checked, dye tests
for me – investigations to see what was going on.
The verdict? I wasn’t ovulating at all. We would be unable to
conceive naturally.
My weight had been mentioned at some of the consultations and I
was encouraged to lose some. But at the consultation where the news about my
ovulation was delivered, I expected a next steps, medical solution. Clomid (a
fertility drug) and then IVF were discussed as the right path for us. What I
hadn’t expected was a refusal of treatment unless I lost weight. I was given
BMI goals and a next appointment which if I hit that goal we could start
Clomid. I was told if I hadn’t hit my weight goal by my appointment time then I
should reschedule, because we wouldn’t start until then.
I came home and balled my eyes out. I had no idea how I was going
to lose weight. No idea how I was going to manage and having my own baby seemed
unreachable. My weight has been an issue pretty much since my teens. At the
time of my fertility tests, I had been a member of a popular slimming club for
a year. I had lost some, gained some, but overall pretty much stayed the same
weight.
I was honestly so overwhelmed about how I was going to manage to
lose 3 stone. Then my husband mentioned a meal replacement/shake diet his boss
had done at work. At first I was horrified at the prospect at not eating, but
you see I was pretty desperate at this time. I made a call to a local
consultant, found out more about it and then decided to go for it. We both
wanted children more than anything.
There was a part of me that hated that doctor that day. I knew I
needed to lose weight, of course I did. I had watched friends and family have
babies while we carried on ‘trying’. My sister got pregnant twice during this
time. When she told me about her second pregnancy I just started sobbing on the
phone. Then I felt awful for spoiling her news and called back the next morning
and apologised.
However, I did it. I lost the three stone. Staggeringly quickly
in fact. The Friday before our appointment (which was the following Thursday)
my brother-in-law called to say his wife was pregnant. Let’s just say it was
lucky I was working from home that day. But, you know, unbeknownst to me I was
already pregnant.
The next week I felt so sick, I nearly passed out at work on the
Tuesday and put it down to some prawns I had eaten at work. I never considered
the possibility I could be pregnant. It was my sister who convinced me to take
a test. I was so convinced I wouldn’t be pregnant, I took the test left it on
the side and went downstairs made a cup of tea and feed our pets. Annoyingly,
my husband was away with work too. I went in to eventually check the test, saw
the result, walked out the bathroom and went back to double check. I was so
gobsmacked I had to text a picture to my sister to check I wasn’t seeing
things. Then I couldn’t get through to my husband. He called back about 20
minutes later and said I’ve got about a million missed calls from you – is
everything ok? 🙂
Sometimes it’s annoying when the doctors are right, that my
weight was such a huge issue for my fertility was hard to take. It was crushing
at the time. For people who struggle with their weight, I find it is often a
huge emotional and psychological as well as a physical burden. But I was able
to change this and in doing so gave birth to my amazing son. It took two and a
half years, but it was well worth the (pardon the pun) wait. When we started
trying for our second, our daughter, I immediately went on a diet 4 months
later I was pregnant. I know now that my weight in intrinsically linked with my
fertility. I can’t say that this doesn’t annoy me. But at the same time I am
immensely grateful for my children and that we didn’t end up going down the IVF
route and feel so much for the people that do. Becoming a mother is the best
thing that ever happened to me.

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

Thank you Laura for sharing your journey. It’s wonderful that you managed to conceive naturally due to your weight loss.

When?

When?


Something I started to think about on Tuesday, only one day after my miscarriage. 


When to try again? 


Something that must cross the mind of every couple when they lose their precious baby.


So, we weren’t actively trying for little bean and it was a bit of shock when we got our BFP as after our journey with little man, we were not in the slightest expecting to catch straight away. But once we had gotten over the shock we were so ecstatic and so looking forward to being parents of two. We were originally planning on waiting until little man was at least one. But losing our precious little bean has made me so very desperate to be pregnant again, so very desperate. 


But am I ready for potentially going through all of this again? Will I ever be? I posted about this on the forum I use and the majority of ladies said they tried again straight away, once their first cycle after miscarriage had arrived. The words of one of the ladies got me thinking: the desire to be pregnant outweighed the fear of miscarriage. After a couple of days of thinking, I think this is me. I’m not 100% yet though, and I need to do some more thinking. I also need to talk with hubby. We haven’t done much talking since Monday, as he has been working funny shifts and we haven’t had time without distractions, as once little man is asleep he has his dinner, then is in bed. Leaving me lots of time to think, on my own. 


But thinking hurts at the minute. 

TWW

Well, it seems I’ve been neglecting this recently! Haven’t posted since I was taking my clomid…


I haven’t much to report anyway, except to say ‘So this is what a TWW feels like?!’, after never having an ‘official’ one in the 28 months we’ve been TTC. I’ve been baking a lot, and this has been taking my mind off of it, although it still seems to be dragging! CD28 is on Saturday, so that’s the big day, seeing whether AF turns up on Sunday, if not I have to test, eek…


A few more people have announced BFP’s and had their babies, have mainly been happy and congratulatory, but obviously still been emotional at times.


One last thing, just after we came out of the hospital after my CD21 OV blood test, we saw the BFP numberplate! Not getting my hopes up though as I’ve seen it before…

I’m overweight!!

I know, not the usual thing that is good to hear, but after being obese for a few years it IS a good thing!


Today I finally hit the overweight BMI category! Right on the line! Just where I need to be for treatment with the FC, right before our appointment on Tuesday! Now just need to keep it there! Well, preferably get further below, and not go above again!





I am SO SO happy, it’s took a while to get here! Especially since my plateau started back in January, when I was so close to being here already (0.2 lbs off), I’ve been stuck between here and the 4/5 lbs I gained after starting up my exercise again. But now I’ve started running training it’s dropping off!


Short but sweet today but just had to share! And is this my first ever happy post?! It’s just such a big deal for me! 


P.S. Here are my new legs! 


The (not so) amazing shrinking Stacey

I have been on my weight loss journey for just over a year now. TTC was the reason why I decided I needed to lose weight. The other reason was because I wanted to. I needed to lose it because I knew if we ended up needing fertility treatment at any point in the future, I would need to be in a healthy BMI, or overweight at the very most. A BMI of 30. Well, I am nearly there. 


I’ve lost around 42 lbs so far, since I started my  journey at the end of January last year. I’ve had my ups & downs, sometimes I’ve felt like throwing the towel in, but then I think how much fitter I am now, and how much better I feel about myself, and not having to bury my figure under baggy clothes – I do not want to be back there again. Anyway, I’ve got rid of most of my fat clothes now, so can’t go back! (Bar my one pair of ‘fat’ jeans, which I’m using as an indicator to how much I have lost.) I can wear dresses, I have a waist. I haven’t been like that for years. Even in my wedding photos I look horrible, I look pregnant! If only! I tried to lose weight before then but obviously I wasn’t set on it enough. If I had known what I would have looked like though, I’m sure I would have kept at it!


There is one thing that really annoys me though. When people tend to moan because they have only lost 1lb! For goodness sake, this is what 1lb looks like:



Gross, I know! But look how much it is! Shocking at how many extra of these I’ve been carrying around!

I’ve discovered my inner green eyed monster during this journey too. Sometimes I’ve found it so, so difficult to drop the weight, and it’s really frustrating when I have been working my butt off (literally!), eating right, and I see nothing, yet there are people who eat like crap, lack on the exercise, and drop the lbs like nobody’s business! Well, since I’ve discovered I (most likely) have PCOS, it throws some explanation as to why I haven’t managed as easily as some others. As I have friends with the same who struggle too, and it really is frustrating when it feels like everyone around you is doing so much better, so much easier. If it turns out I actually don’t, well, then, I’ve obviously not been working as hard at it as I think I have, I guess.


I am pleased for all of my friends who have lost a huge amount of weight, but to think I’ve done this all on my own, no slimming clubs or particular food plan, those are the friends who are bringing out my green eyed monster lately! I try to hold it back, but I just can’t! Mainly because they have lost just about the same amount of weight as me, in half the amount of time I have been doing it, I think maybe I would be better off with one of those?! But then it’s not something I (personally) would be able to stick out for the rest of my life. The ‘Stacey’ plan is something I can stick with, and have managed pretty well (I think) over the last year.


(To all of you who fit into the above criteria, seriously well done! I know you’ve worked hard too. Please don’t take it personally – just releasing my frustration with myself)


I hope to reach my goal this year, I am just over half way there now (see my ticker at the bottom). I’m sure there may be a few more weight loss frustration posts from me over the next few months! Watch this space!