The ‘Berry’ Pregnancy Diaries – week 14

Wednesday 28th August – 14w
I had my second 12 week scan today – obviously at 14 weeks though! As usual I was nervous, but I got in there and the heartbeat was there, everything was fine. Phew. Baby was measuring spot on. We opted for the NT test again, baby just would not cooperate. They were very bouncy and waving though! Just like their big brother was at his… The sonographer couldn’t the fluid measurement, so she suggested I empty my bladder to see if baby would change position, which I did and baby didn’t. Little monkey. She actually asked if I’d been drinking caffeine as that’s what usually happens when baby won’t stay still, but no, I’m just growing another wriggler! So I went and had a rest and a walk for 20 minutes and then went back. She was successful this time and got the measurement. After the scan I had to have my bloods done, and I also made an appointment for my GTT, at the beginning of December. Our next scan is mid October so I’m counting down to that now. And I’m determined to have a surprise! 

12 week scan photo

Friday 30th August – 14w 2d
Now it wouldn’t be my diary if I didn’t mention how tired I was. This time because little man decided to have a party for the last two nights in a row, starting at 4am. Zzzzzzzzz…

I seem to have become a bit addicted to Quavers. I can’t stop eating them. 

Saturday 31st August – 14w 3d
We started drawing up a list of names today! Finding boys names so much harder, again, especially because we want a particular meaning this time. Got a good list of girls names though! 

Sunday 1st September – 14w 4d
I seem to have killed Sir David Frost this time. R.I.P. 

Up until now I’ve just managed without my maternity clothes, but I think it’s time they came out again. I’ve been using the old bobble trick on my jeans! But they are still uncomfortable. I need to bring my box back from the inlaws and sort them out. 

At 14 weeks, berry is the size of a nectarine.
This week berry can squint, frown, grimace, wee, and possible suck their thumb. It’s all go!
The kidneys are producing urine which is being released into the amniotic fluid.
The lanugo is starting to develop.
Soft nails have developed on their fingers and toes.
Berry’s blood is starting to form in the bone marrow and blood vessels.

The ‘Berry’ Pregnancy Diaries – week 10

Okay, so this diary will look a little odd as at my scan I was put back by 3 days, meaning some of this diary is actually during 9 weeks, so it looks like it’s repeated from the last one! Also, I haven’t written an awful lot this week as my mother-in-law passed away so have had a lot on my mind other than recording my diary. 

Sunday 28th July – 9w 4d
It’s scan day tomorrow! I’m feeling excited but nervous at the same time.

I’ve also got a teeny tiny bump forming. Well, I have a lot of chub too, but you can see the bump above my belly button, at least! 

Monday 29th July – 9w 5d
It was scan day! So glad it was in the morning so we didn’t have any waiting around all day. I’m not going to repeat it all again, so you can find the full story here. As usual, it was such an amazing experience. And as I am not as far on as the midwife said (which I knew I wouldn’t be), we get another scan at the end of the month. We told MIL (who is currently very ill in a hospice) our new due date, and she was over the moon as it is her birthday. She simply said “That’s what I wanted”, which made me rather emotional.

Scan photo of our 'berry'
Berry at 9w 5d

Tuesday 30th July – 9w 6d
MIL is really ill today and we were told she has hours rather than days left now. I just know she was waiting for the news we told her yesterday, so she could go in peace. 

Wednesday 1st August -10 w
MIL passed away today. R.I.P to an amazing woman. I told her that we would never let little man forget her, the same going for berry. We will show photos so they always remember. 

Thursday 2nd August -10w 1d
I had a phone call from the midwives today about my booking bloods. I have to go back for another blood test as the results showed that although my iron levels were okay, my iron stores were looking low, so they need to pinpoint where so we can rectify it. It makes sense as I was very anemic after little man so maybe they didn’t build right back up again. 

Saturday 4th August – 10w 3d
Had such an emotional day today. It’s been exactly 8 months since we lost bean, and coincidentally I am 10+3 today, which was the point at which bean went to heaven. So it has really affected me today. 

Also been thinking about MIL a lot, and I think the enormity of it all has suddenly hit me as I have been in tears all night. 

Sunday 5th August – 10w 4d
I am SO tired today, I feel like I could fall asleep at any time, anywhere! To be honest it’s probably all my emotions building up. Little man has had a very early night though so at least I’ve had a chance to sit down for more than 5 minutes for once! 

Tuesday 6th August- 10w 6d
I’ve had a bit of peace & quiet and relaxation today as little man went out with Daddy to see Grandad. I needed it as like I said on Sunday, I’m so tired lately and starting to feel dizzy again, a lot. My appetite is definitely coming back though! 

At week 10, berry is the size of a prune.
Ears are starting to develop and their ear canals are forming.
The jawbones are developing, already containing milk teeth.
Tiny nails are starting to grow on fingers and toes.
The heart is now fully formed, beating 180 times a minute.
Berry is moving already, which can be seen on an ultrasound scan!

Introducing ‘Berry’…

As I told you in last weeks diary, our dating scan was yesterday. I was feeling nervous all morning as I was worried that there was going to be something terrible, like no heartbeat. I knew deep down everything would be okay though, I’m just a natural worrier! 

Little man couldn’t come with us as small children aren’t allowed in the scan room just in case of you know what, so brother in law took him to the inlaws for us where we were going afterwards anyway. Once he had gone I filled up on water – I dread this bit as I have the weakest bladder at the best of times! Luckily when we we arrived they were only running around 10 minutes late so I sat on the edge of my seat until we were called through. When the sonographer took us to the ultrasound room, we turned a particular corner and I just knew where we going – the same room we went in to discover we had lost bean. I got very emotional at that point. 

I jumped up on the bed – well, not literally – very carefully making sure my bladder didn’t burst! I told her I was quite nervous as I’d had a miscarriage last year, and she was sympathetic. She asked if we had any more children, I told her we had a little boy of 16 months. I then had the gel put on and she got going – I couldn’t look at the screen just yet, not until she had told me the heartbeat was there. She said the words, and I was so relieved I shed a tear. I was so happy then and had a look. I saw what looked like a kidney bean! She measured me at around 9 weeks 5 days, so 3 days out from what I worked out – with little man I was only 2 days out so I’m not too bad at this! 

We have opted for the NT scan, but as I was only 9+5, berry was slightly too small to get the measurements so we have to go back at the end of next month. Of course I don’t mind though, it means we get an extra scan. 

So, say hello to berry! 

Diary of a (short) 2nd pregnancy – weeks 4 to 10

I started writing this when I got my BFP, with the intent to publish it after 12 weeks when we had had our scan. Obviously we didn’t get that far, but I would like to publish it anyway. *Contains very sensitive content, and TMI at points so only read on if you wish. 

Thursday October 18 (5w 2d 3w 6d) 

Since we had J my cycles have gone pretty ‘normal’ and I started ovulating, so I kind of know where I’m at. By today though my AF was a couple of days late, going by average cycle lengths since J. We had got a bit carried away in the bedroom a couple of weeks before, it was the first time I was comfortable enough to manage to fully DTD since J, so yeah… Although by this time it had passed when I usually had EWCM and didn’t think there would be any more now (which there wasn’t), so didn’t think anything of it at the time, just that I had maybe somehow skipped OV this month. But of course, there was also a slight chance that I could be pregnant… So I decided to test. I think I was more nervous this time than with little man as I knew there was a chance, whereas with J I didn’t think there was. So there was me, sat in the toilet waiting for the control line to come up. A couple of minutes passed and no other line, but as you know it is recommended to wait 3 minutes. Slowly, the test line started appearing. My heart skipped a beat and I started shaking. Shock. Fear. Worry. Happy. So many mixed emotions. I shouted hubby and showed him. Then had to send a photo to my friend to confirm again! Yep, pregnant. I worked out my due date going by my LMP, to be around 18th June 2013. I’m going to be a Mummy of 2 under 18 months. Yikes. 

Thursday October 25 (6w 2d 4w 6d) 
I went to the doctors to get the ball rolling. I purposely made an appointment with the same GP who got my referral to the fertility clinic as I knew she would be over the moon, and I wanted to show J off and say thank you! She smiled as soon as I walked in the door, and said congratulations (x2!) and that J was gorgeous. I already knew that though of course! Then she took my details – date of last period etc., and worked out my due date to be the day before I did. But we will see when we get our scan! She took my BP, and J decided he was going to pull the velcro on the band on my arm, little monkey! She also gave my a flu jab whilst I was there as I would have to have one anyway, and J also decided to try and help with that, eek! He didn’t get near the needle though, thank goodness! I picked up the midwives phone number from reception to make an appointment for booking in, so I’ve rang and left my details and should think an appointment will be with me in the post soon. 

Friday October 26 (6w 3d 5w) 
I’ve come down with an awful sore throat, cold & cough, whether that has anything to do with my flu jab, I don’t know. But I can barely take anything, can I?! Hope it disappears soon as I have a little monkey to look after as well as contend with early pregnancy and this! But I’m super mummy (sometimes), I’m sure I’ll cope! 

Tuesday October 30 (7w 5w 4d) 

Finally after ringing and ringing and leaving a message, them ringing me but I was busy so they left a message, and me ringing and ringing back, I got hold of someone to make my booking appointment! It’s for 2 weeks today when I should be 9 weeks. Finally, something to count down to! 

Friday November 2 (7w 3d 6w) 
Had my first odd pregnancy dream today, which I’ll be filling you in on all of them again! In our bedroom we have a cabinet diagonally opposite our bed – well I dreamed that J was on our bed, had climbed down from the bed and was trying to climb up the cabinet. He got nearly to the top but fell backwards, but he managed to land on the bed! And then he climbed down from the bed, and crawled from the foot of the bed around the side, and climbed up on to the bed to see his Mummy, aww! He was his current age in the dream (7.5 months) and he’s not crawling yet, though I was expecting to wake up and for him to be doing it!  

Sunday November 11 (8w 5d 7w 2d)

Was the first worried moment of this pregnancy yesterday, I went to the loo and when I wiped there was pink tinged blood on the tissue. Cue panic and thoughts of the worst happening. After this I’m sure I felt cramps but they weren’t strong so I must have just imagined it. I’ve had nothing since so hopefully all is OK and it was just a bit of old blood. I had bleeding in my last pregnancy so will mention this to the midwife on Tuesday at my booking appointment. These babies like to test us before they even arrive, don’t they?! 

Tuesday November 13 (9w 7w 4d) 

So I had my booking appointment today. Went through the usual stuff – medical history, bloods, wee sample etc. Told them about my PND and anxiety which they wrote down in there. I had my height & weight done which worked my BMI out at 34, which is 4 more than when I went for booking in with J! Oh dear. Ashamed of myself. It also means I have to have another GTT (I hated the last one), but it’s all for the safety of me & baby so I obviously can’t complain. Got my lovely new green folder! And another Bounty pack. My next (15 week) appointment with the midwives is a few days after Christmas. I will be 15 weeks, 6 weeks today, but guess what – that’s Christmas Day, so they said “No, can’t do it that day”, which made me giggle! Now we’ve just got to wait for a scan date, and then we can tell everyone and you can finally all read this!

Friday November 16 (8w)

So after the weekend spotting, I have been bleeding on & off since Wednesday night. I rang the GP yesterday morning and he told me to go to A&E for a possible examination and a scan. It wasn’t very busy when we arrived (only one other person there) but we ended up waiting 2.5 hours to be seen. Not good with a grumpy tired baby! Anyway, the doctor said as I had only been spotting really and had no pain or clots, then he would get me booked in at the EPU for an early scan. So I went for that this afternoon. I was so nervous in case there was no heartbeat. I’d drank my 2 pints of water an hour before and I was absolutely desperate for the loo, I never remember it being that bad before! I felt like my bladder was going to explode! I had to go and let some out and as I did I heard my name being called, and thought oops! Anyway, I was seen by someone who took my history, what had been happening etc., and then I had to wait for my scan, by which time I was again bursting for the loo. Finally got called for the scan, it was a trainee who carried it out but there was someone else in attendance. As soon as I laid down on the bed I felt like I was going to wee myself any minute, so was dreading her using the doppler! So she started, she found magic little bean practically straight away, I was looking for a heartbeat. It was there! Such relief. Then she measured bean, I’m actually measuring at 8 weeks rather than the 9w 3d we thought originally. I had guessed I might be a week or so behind though as I was thinking about my dates the other day and I know exactly when we conceived and it didn’t work out right, as I OV late in my cycle as I don’t have a ‘normal’ 28 day cycle. Anyway, all was OK and it has been classed as another ‘threatened miscarriage’ like it was with J. Our 12 week scan is 4 weeks today when we get to see our little magic bean again. 

Sunday November 25 (9w 2d)

I meant to write last week as I had another couple of pregnancy dreams, but I just kept forgetting and now I can’t remember what the first one was. The second one I remember vaguely though, as I dreamed we had another boy! 

Sunday December 2 (10w 2d)

We had another A&E visit last night. I started bleeding bright red on Friday night, along with clots this time too. It started off just when I wiped, and then it started being on a pad too. The clots to start with were the size of a pen nib and then some got bigger, probably 1/2 cm long. I thought it may die off like before but they continued yesterday too, so thought we would go up there. We were waiting an hour and a bit before we saw the nurse, and she said she would try and get me in with the GP rather than the A&E side as it would be quicker. So we waited another half an hour or so and then we saw him. Basically told him what had been going on and the spotting since last time, and he booked me in at the EPU again tomorrow at 1.15 pm for a scan. So we will see what happens then. I still haven’t had any pain really, just a bit of what feels like ‘hunger’ belly ache which makes sense as I don’t really feel like eating at the minute. I’m still dreading it though in case of the worst, I’m not even going to look at the screen until they tell me whether there’s a heartbeat or not… If everything is OK then I’m guessing it’s cervical erosion and I’m going to ask about a cervical stitch, as surely I shouldn’t be getting clots if I’m not miscarrying?…

Monday December 3 (10w 3d)

I woke up at 2 am with a huge gush of blood so I immediately jumped out and rushed to the loo. Luckily I had a pad on what with bleeding over the weekend. The pad had pretty much soaked through, and then when I had been to the loo I saw a bigger clot in there. I was really panicking by now as I just knew what was probably happening. I tried to stay calm though and I went back to bed as I had to get hubby up for work at 4 am, but I didn’t really need my alarm as I woke up with another gush of blood. This time when I went to the loo I felt a huge clot and the tears really started as I knew for sure this time. I must have have been sat on the loo for the next two hours just sobbing my heart out, losing blood and clots. Around 6 am it had calmed down a bit and I went to lie down in bed but had to keep going backwards & forwards to the loo for the next half an hour or so. Eventually I managed to drop off in bed until J woke up about 8 am. MiL was coming anyway to look after him while we went to the hospital (hubby was able to leave work early). As soon as she arrived I just burst into tears and she gave me a huge hug. Skip to the hospital and the usual of a full bladder, seeing the nurse first (there was a student nurse in there too who took all my details), and then we were called for the scan. Only this time I knew it was going to show nothing so I did as I said and didn’t look at the screen, and just held hubby’s hand SO tightly. The sonographer said “Sorry, I’m not seeing anything”, to which I replied “I knew you were going to say that”, and then burst into tears. She showed us to the quiet room and I just sat there sobbing, and my poor hubby, he just held me and cried too. There it is, confirmation this pregnancy is over. Heartbroken. 

R.I.P. our special little angel bean xx

*(Weeks along edited after early scan)

Another unscheduled hospital visit

**Slight TMI alert**

On Wednesday we made another unscheduled visit to the hospital. This time to the antenatal day unit for assessment, after me being a worrying mummy-to-be again, and the little monkey playing games again. Number one, because little man hadn’t been moving much (again!), and number two, because on Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning I had had some greenish discharge (yuk!). I knew that could mean baby had pooped, so thought it best to get checked out. It felt like a tour of all the rooms! 

It was later in the afternoon so didn’t have much of a wait when we got there. First I was hooked up to the machine again to check baby’s heart rate and movements, though it was a different one this time, where I had to press a button every time I felt him move. Sure enough, 5 or 10 minutes after I was hooked up, he started moving! Doh! So I wasn’t on there for long as she was happy with his movements for the next 10-15 mins, in fact he gave me one almighty kick which took me by surprise! I then had to do a urine sample, which again came back with traces of protein like the one from my previous midwife appointment, so she was sending that off. 

Then we went for a growth scan, so we got to see him again (well, bits of him, as he’s obviously grown a lot since 20 weeks!). Measurements were good and he is growing fine.

Finally, we went to another room for me to be ‘examined’. Not the most dignified of experiences just like my HSG, but it had to be done! Though I’m getting used to those kind of examinations now, and it’ll be the same on Sunday anyway if he hasn’t arrived by then! And let’s not forget when I give birth too! Anyway, the midwife confirmed there was a bit of greenish discharge, and she has also sent that off in case of infection or anything. Apart from that, everything seemed fine ‘down there’ too. 

So yes, it was just me being paranoid again!