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When I was pregnant with little man, I wouldn’t say I found the pregnancy particularly easy, as I had absolutely no idea what to expect. But it was so much easier than this one.
Again, when I was pregnant for the short time with our little angel, it wasn’t particularly easy; slightly harder than little man’s, but again, easier than this one. Little man was only 6 months old at the time and not even crawling, so I didn’t really have a lot of running around after him to do, and he napped more, so I could join him.
This time, I am reluctant to admit, I am finding it so so hard.
For starters, after my previous miscarriage, I have worried ever since we found out I was pregnant. This for one takes its toll on you, emotionally. And when you are emotional, it takes it out of you physically.
And not to mention the tiredness. I suffered really badly with tiredness with little man, but at the time I was working from home so I could nap when I wanted, which most days was early afternoon! I just can’t do that now, as little man rarely ever naps, apart from in the car. And only hubby drives, so it’s not like I can just take him out in the car and have a sleep with him!
Which leads on to being at his beck and call. Obviously I don’t mind doing that, as it’s my job as his Mummy, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish he would just sit still for 10 minutes, or that someone could come and take him out so I can have a rest. I just really need to rest.
Which, with no rest, makes me physically exhausted. And when I’m emotional and physically exhausted, this doesn’t make for a particularly nice Mummy or wife. Without pregnancy, I already have a short fuse, but with the hormones too, well, let’s not go there! I often have to leave both of them and go into another room for 5 minutes to get my composure back.
To be honest, I think I may also still be in a depressive state of mind. There are thoughts I have which aren’t nice, and then I feel so bad afterwards when I feel in a better state of mind. Those who have suffered with depression will know what I mean. I have considered going back to my GP for happy pills, but I don’t know if it’s worth the risk. But then I think, would I rather feel like this for the next 6 months? I don’t know. I just don’t know.
I’ve gone off on a tangent here haven’t I?
What I’m trying to say is, pregnancy with a toddler is SO. BLOODY. HARD.
I don’t think I could do it again.
I just don’t know how people do it more than once (or twice!).
I raise my hands and bow down to you.
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awww honey i am sending massive hugs, i know what you mean about that constant state of anxiety over the pregnancy i was the same with Joshua i felt like i was going mad.
Although going back to you Dr maybe helpful, you may not need to go on pills (I was depressed too) but your Dr may know of alternatives that may be available to you.
Thank you for linking up with #PoCoLo and sharing such a personal post honey xx
Thank you. I'm starting to relax a little more now, just want next week out of the way then I won't be so stressed x
I remember when S was about a year old, realising that there's 18 months between me and my older sister, and 18 months between me and my younger brother. My mum must have been bonkers! I have no idea how people do more than one!