In the 10 short weeks I was pregnant, and that our little bean lived inside me, there have been a couple of dates which are significant and close to each other. 

The day we went for our first early scan, we received our original dating scan letter through the post. This would have been today, so today is already one of those bad days. We should have originally been seeing our little bean for the first time today, heart beating away. Instead yesterday we had to go and see nothing there, nothing at all. Empty. (Apart from a clot or a piece of tissue. But I still felt empty.)

After our first early early scan, I was put back a week and a bit, so the dating scan was pushed back. To the 14th of December. Instead we have to go on the 17th December. To make sure I am completely empty. To make sure that everything has gone. Gone forever. 

I know you are gone physically, but you are still there in my heart. Forever. 

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