Thought we were going back to the start…

Yesterday (Thursday) was quite a scary, emotional day. Had some bleeding in the morning, first time I went to the toilet, and then the second time, which was worse than before. Cue panic mode and the beginning of a morning of crying from me. 

I obviously thought the worst was happening so I rang the mw in tears, who told me she couldn’t do anything or refer me, so to ring my GP and he would get me a referral to the EPU. So I rang my GP, he rang the EPU and then rang me back to go there in the afternoon. I then rang hubby at work to let him know, but this was an hour before his dinner so I was sat crying for an hour! Eventually he rang back and I was in tears, he said he was asking to leave and then he’d be straight home. He rang me to let me know he was on his way so I ran a bath to calm down a bit. It took him 20 minutes to cycle home, whereas on his bike it usually takes 35-40 minutes!

I had my bath, then got ready to go, drank a bit of water in case they did a scan (GP said they were just listening for a heartbeat as I was “only” 14+4, but I thought it might be too early so went prepared). 

We got there, saw the mw, she took some details as to when the bleeding started etc., then we went to listen for a heartbeat. Of course, she couldn’t find one so that set me in panic mode again! Anyway, she said go and sit back in the waiting area and we’ll get you in for a scan. So sat there for 15 mins, worried sick, then we were called through for our scan.

The sonographer took some details, then got baby up on the screen. A heartbeat! It was flashing! Oh my, I was so relieved, I immediately burst into tears. Baby was totally oblivious, sleeping happily on his/her head! 

Needless to say, we were so so happy, relieved, you name it. I had a major headache after all the crying so we headed home and I went for a lie down. Hubby looked after me all night, made me an amazing spaghetti bolognese, and was just generally a wonderful husband. We also had stern words with the belly bean (thanks Kylie, I love that!) not to scare us like that again!

Oh, just before I finish, one of the receptionists there asked if I was pregnant, and wished us congratulations, as she recognised us from when we were having treatment (our antenatal/scan/gynae unit is joined together, and all 3 desks joined together, she works on the antenatal unit I think)! That’s how much time we spend at the hospital!


(Never posted the update from 14 weeks so here it is)

PCOS

As part of PCOS awareness month, I am going to be writing a couple of posts on PCOS and how it can affect individuals. 


PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) is thought to affect approximately 5-10% of women of reproductive age – so every 1 in 20 to 1 in 10 women. Of these, as many as 30% do not actually have PCO (Polycystic Ovaries) as a symptom (I would be an example of this). Of course this is not a definitive number, as many women go undiagnosed for years. For example, I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 24, and this was after 10 months of investigation. Some women can also just have PCO without any other symptom of PCOS. 


There are many symptoms of PCOS, some are visible to other people, some are not. 

  • absent or irregular periods
  • no ovulation/infrequent ovulation
  • high levels of testosterone
  • being overweight or obese
  • excess hair
  • acne
  • depression/mood swings
  • cysts on the ovary/ies
  • infertility
PCO/PCOS is thought to be one of the leading causes of infertility in women. 



What are cysts on the ovaries? 

We all know that cysts are fluid filled sacs. But on the ovaries, cysts form when follicles (where the egg develops) stop growing too early, and instead of the follicles bursting to release the egg, they form cysts.


I think I may have PCOS, what should I do? 


Go to see your GP, and explain your symptoms. If they rule out other problems and agree with you, they will probably send you for tests such as blood tests and an ultrasound scan. If you are then diagnosed with PCOS, you may be referred to a specialist.

Can PCOS be treated? 


Yes it can, both through self help (eating a healthy balanced diet, exercise, managing stress levels, and various hair removal methods for excess hair) and medical help (such as the contraceptive pill, metformin, and fertility medicines such as clomifene (also known as clomid). In other cases, surgery may be required). The thing to remember is that although it can be treated, it cannot be cured. 


Although PCOS has symptoms to diagnose it, PCOS can also cause other things, such as
  • type II diabetes
  • high blood pressure
  • depression/anxiety
  • weight gain
  • miscarriage


The good thing is, that infertility caused by PCOS can be treated in many cases, and couples can come away with a perfectly healthy baby. Unfortunately, some are not so lucky. This will be covered in another blog post.

Which symptoms of PCOS do you display? How & when did you discover you had PCOS?

For further information, see these sources: BUPAWikipediaNHS

Fed up of feeling fed up

I know, a few months ago I would have been the one moaning about people moaning that they were fed up with their pregnancies. This is why I am so fed up of feeling like this, because I know I am so lucky and many of you would kill to be in my position and possibly be feeling fed up!


The thing is, I don’t know why I’m fed up, I’m guessing it’s just hormones, as there is absolutely no other reason. Most of you know how long we fought for this moment, and I love our baby so much already, so it is nothing to do with that.


I’ve been bursting into tears for absolutely no reason (I did this nearer the beginning but I knew what the reasons were at that time!), and just really feeling sorry for myself! I think part of it may be  the fact that I don’t “feel pregnant” at the minute because I don’t “look” pregnant, I think I look more fat than anything, and I just want that moment where I can see how much our baby is growing inside of me. I look in the mirror every day and just can’t see any change at all. I have had to start wearing maternity jeans, as my usual jeans were getting tight and uncomfortable, so I know my body is changing, and I’ve only gained 4/5 lbs so I know it’s not mainly because of that. 


I’m sure my husband must be getting fed up of me feeling miserable by now, but I just can’t seem to pull myself out of this and cheer up! I hate feeling like this as I know I should be enjoying my pregnancy, and I am for the most part, but just can’t help feeling like this at the moment and I feel so so guilty. 


Please tell me I’m not the only one?

The Best

This came from another blog, who got the idea from a magazine where they do a “Best of” section where a well-known person answers some questions. I enjoyed reading this over there so thought I would give it a go, why don’t you give it a go too on your blog?! You could even do it on your Facebook page! 

Best Compliment – I think it would have to be a selection of compliments from other people on how much weight I have lost and how much better I look! (I don’t mind them saying that last part as I know I do!)

Best Weekend – I think would have to be our 2nd wedding anniversary weekend in the Lake District, we had a lovely evening by ourselves and then spent the following evening with friends (who I met on a wedding forum) who we met “in real life” for the first time, we had a very fun evening!

Best Kept Secret – It would have to be the first few few weeks of my pregnancy! (Apart from the people on the forum I’m part of, those who saw on my blog and my LTTTC friends I told beforehand – there were still a lot of poeple it was a big shock to!

Best Meal – We haven’t really been to many posh restaurants, but I think it would have be the meal we had at Fat Olives in the Lake District last year! After every mouthful from both of us was an ‘mmm’!

Best Friend – I don’t really have a ‘best friend’ any more, but I do have a few very close friends. If I had to say someone it would be my husband.

Best Book – I only really got back into reading this year, and I can’t remember many books that I read years ago, so none really stick out. So I would say at the minute ‘My Story’ by Dave Pelzer (a trilogy of his first 3 books).

Best Decision – Soppy I know, but agreeing to marry my husband!

Best Job – I haven’t really had that many jobs, only to keep me going through college and Uni, and they were only in pubs etc. so nothing to write home about! I would say the job I do from home at the minute, making & selling cupcakes.

Best Lesson – To never give up on your dreams. Many a time I have felt like giving up but kept pushing, and I’m part way there (When I actually hold my baby in my arms I think I will be able to say I fully got there!)

Best Moment – Apart from getting married, I would have to say finding out I was pregnant! I just can’t describe how amazing it felt.

Best Gift – I can’t think at the moment so will have to say at this moment, probably my first laptop that hubby bought me to go away to Uni with! Bless him!

Best Way to Relax – A nice warm bath with lots of bubbles, candles and a book.


13 weeks (and more fluffy post)

So Sunday was the 13 week mark! Nearing the end of the first trimester and only 27 more weeks to go…




No bump pic this week as it’s not really much different from last week! 


We have a few things to keep us occupied until baby arrives – it’s hubby’s birthday 3 weeks tomorrow, the Monday after that we go on holiday, and then on the Thursday it’s my quarter century birthday! (Exactly a week after hubby’s!) And then in November I’m going Xmas/baby shopping in Manchester with a friend, and then in December we’re going to Leicester for another friends birthday! And then of course we have Xmas (which we are hopefully going away for, to stay with my Mum & Step-Dad if they have moved by then), and then New Year, and then Valentines Day which will be very low key as baby is due the month after! 


I was also very honoured last week, as I was part of the Friday feature on a very good friends blog over at Not Even A Bag Of Sugar! If you don’t follow her already, I would get yourself over there as it is a very heartfelt blog focusing on prematurity (but she does post about other things too) as her amazing, gorgeous baby boy was born at only 27 weeks.


My last thing to add, more fluffy post arrived today, courtesy of Kylie (author of above blog!) who very kindly won a starter pack for us from Baba + Boo. Mainly jungle prints so we are going to have a jungle baby!




So we have a white nappy bucket, a mesh laundry bag, a cow print wet bag, a giraffe nappy, a tiger nappy, a zebra nappy, a leopard nappy, and the Cruella Du Wee which Kylie named and won the competition with!