{Guest post} Laura – Weight Loss and the Pain of Trying to Conceive

Today’s guest post is from Laura, a Mummy of two who blogs over at Laura’s Lovely Blog. She talks about a journey I am very familiar with, losing weight in order to conceive.
It’s funny, I spent most of my 20s trying not to get pregnant.
Having a mini panic attack if there was a slip up. Because in my mind there was
no way I was ready.
Of course after all the contraception fastidiousness it seemed to
me that as soon as we started trying to fall pregnant, that it would be easy,
that it would just happen. That the little spermy blighters were just desperate
to *ahem* get in there a give me a baby.
How foolish I was. Particularly as I already knew I had PCOS
(polycystic ovary syndrome).
After a year or so of trying we knew we needed some help and went
to the doctors. Then ensued a period of time of tests, internal scans, my
husband driving through rush hours with pots of things to be checked, dye tests
for me – investigations to see what was going on.
The verdict? I wasn’t ovulating at all. We would be unable to
conceive naturally.
My weight had been mentioned at some of the consultations and I
was encouraged to lose some. But at the consultation where the news about my
ovulation was delivered, I expected a next steps, medical solution. Clomid (a
fertility drug) and then IVF were discussed as the right path for us. What I
hadn’t expected was a refusal of treatment unless I lost weight. I was given
BMI goals and a next appointment which if I hit that goal we could start
Clomid. I was told if I hadn’t hit my weight goal by my appointment time then I
should reschedule, because we wouldn’t start until then.
I came home and balled my eyes out. I had no idea how I was going
to lose weight. No idea how I was going to manage and having my own baby seemed
unreachable. My weight has been an issue pretty much since my teens. At the
time of my fertility tests, I had been a member of a popular slimming club for
a year. I had lost some, gained some, but overall pretty much stayed the same
weight.
I was honestly so overwhelmed about how I was going to manage to
lose 3 stone. Then my husband mentioned a meal replacement/shake diet his boss
had done at work. At first I was horrified at the prospect at not eating, but
you see I was pretty desperate at this time. I made a call to a local
consultant, found out more about it and then decided to go for it. We both
wanted children more than anything.
There was a part of me that hated that doctor that day. I knew I
needed to lose weight, of course I did. I had watched friends and family have
babies while we carried on ‘trying’. My sister got pregnant twice during this
time. When she told me about her second pregnancy I just started sobbing on the
phone. Then I felt awful for spoiling her news and called back the next morning
and apologised.
However, I did it. I lost the three stone. Staggeringly quickly
in fact. The Friday before our appointment (which was the following Thursday)
my brother-in-law called to say his wife was pregnant. Let’s just say it was
lucky I was working from home that day. But, you know, unbeknownst to me I was
already pregnant.
The next week I felt so sick, I nearly passed out at work on the
Tuesday and put it down to some prawns I had eaten at work. I never considered
the possibility I could be pregnant. It was my sister who convinced me to take
a test. I was so convinced I wouldn’t be pregnant, I took the test left it on
the side and went downstairs made a cup of tea and feed our pets. Annoyingly,
my husband was away with work too. I went in to eventually check the test, saw
the result, walked out the bathroom and went back to double check. I was so
gobsmacked I had to text a picture to my sister to check I wasn’t seeing
things. Then I couldn’t get through to my husband. He called back about 20
minutes later and said I’ve got about a million missed calls from you – is
everything ok? 🙂
Sometimes it’s annoying when the doctors are right, that my
weight was such a huge issue for my fertility was hard to take. It was crushing
at the time. For people who struggle with their weight, I find it is often a
huge emotional and psychological as well as a physical burden. But I was able
to change this and in doing so gave birth to my amazing son. It took two and a
half years, but it was well worth the (pardon the pun) wait. When we started
trying for our second, our daughter, I immediately went on a diet 4 months
later I was pregnant. I know now that my weight in intrinsically linked with my
fertility. I can’t say that this doesn’t annoy me. But at the same time I am
immensely grateful for my children and that we didn’t end up going down the IVF
route and feel so much for the people that do. Becoming a mother is the best
thing that ever happened to me.

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Thank you Laura for sharing your journey. It’s wonderful that you managed to conceive naturally due to your weight loss.

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