Losing trust

When my mental health is like it is at the minute, I find paranoia really brings itself to the forefront (social media doesn’t help this, but we’re so dependent on it nowadays – especially for bloggers).

Hand in hand with feeling like I’m not good enough and am always doing something wrong, it’s not a great pairing.

Today has been a day where I wonder who I really can trust.

You see things, hear things, from people you thought were good friends.

Banter between people. One of them who you have already lost trust in, anyway.

It could be innocent, but those demons in my head tell me different.

Is that me?


Have I done something wrong?

Do people really dislike me that much?

Should I just disappear?

Maybe it would be better.

I wouldn’t need to be thought of, or discussed, then.

Maybe only in sadness and grief.

From a select few people, that is.

I wouldn’t need to think these thoughts myself.

Go away paranoia, go away loss of self-worth.

Go away, depression.

But the loss of trust, that can stay.

I don’t know who to trust nowadays.

I just don’t.

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